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  Heart to Heart with Hajara Series 10: Together, We Can Build Healthy Marriages Are You Only Focused on Yourself When It Comes to Bedroom Matters in Your Marriage? Recently, I came across a conversation where a woman was talking about how very unhappy and frustrated she was with her husband when it came to intimacy. She said his performance was a total zero, despite keeping herself for 24 years before marriage, hoping that when she eventually got married, she would finally get to enjoy everything legally. She said, “You even carry pregnancy for nine months, all from zero performance, without orgasm.” You carry the pregnancy. You nurse your baby, knowing fully well that you did not even get to cloud nine. She was deeply bitter and angry. But in all of this, she wasn't simply complaining that she wasn't satisfied. What stood out to me was that she also said she had tried talking to him about it repeatedly, but he refused to change. And as I read through the comments, I realised ...

~~ Muhammad Muneer  In every election season in Nigeria, the same story repeats itself. A young man, maybe 19, maybe 24, full of strength, no job, no capital, but plenty of anger. Then a politician drives into the community with a Hilux, tinted glass down, and calls him. "Oya, my boy, I get work for you." The work is not in a farm. Not in a workshop. Not in a school. The work is to carry cutlass. To carry sticks. To snatch a ballot box. To scatter a rally. To beat up someone's father because that father supports another party. To burn tyres on the road on election day and shout "No voting here!" And for that work, they give him N5,000, or N10,000, or a bottle of gin and a t-shirt with a face on it. He does it. He feels important for one day. The politician calls him "my strong man." Then election ends. The politician moves to Abuja. His own children are in private university abroad, or in Maitama preparing for Masters. The thug? He remains in the same ...

Heart to Heart with Hajara – Series 9: Together, we can build healthier marriages. Are You Really Communicating, or Are You Just Talking to Each Other? “Have you eaten?” “Did you pick up the children  “What are we eating today?” “Did you pay the bill?” “What time are you coming home?” “Please send me money.” You talk to your spouse every day. Sometimes, you may even talk several times a day. But let me ask you something: Are you really communicating, or are you just talking to each other? Because there is a huge difference. A couple can talk every day and still feel completely disconnected. They can discuss the children. They can discuss money. They can discuss work. They can discuss family. They can make plans. Sometimes, they can even sit together and watch television every night. But they may never actually talk about themselves. About the things that really matter. Their feelings and emotions. Things like: “What is bothering you?” “How are you really doing?” “Is there anything ...

  Let's be honest. In Nigeria today, you can be employed and still be broke. You can wake up by 4:30am, beat traffic, work 8 to 5, close late, and by the 15th of the month, your salary has already finished talking. Transport has taken one part, food has taken another, black tax, data, light, school fees - before you say "God provide," the alert is gone. And then someone tells you, "At least you have a job, you should be grateful." You ARE grateful. But you are also tired. And those two feelings can exist in the same heart. Wanting more does not mean you are ungrateful. It means you are honest with yourself. 1. Gratitude is not supposed to be a cage. We were raised to manage, to endure, to say "at least." At least you have work, at least salary dey enter. But gratitude was never meant to keep you stuck in a place that is clearly not enough. You can thank God for where you are, and still be honest that where you are cannot carry where you are going. A sa...

He is humble, caring and helpful leader whose style of representation has redefined what it means to truly touch the heart of the people irrespective of their place of origin. From Niger East Senatorial District, Zone B of Niger State, Distinguished Senator Mohammed Sani Musa, CON, popularly known as 313, has today distinguished himself not only as the best Senator from Niger State but as one of the best performing Senators in Nigeria. His philanthropy is not seasonal but consistent and deeply rooted in compassion for humanity. In a rare demonstration of empathy and responsibility, he pledged to sponsor the education of all victims of a mining incident who are interested in going to school, from secondary school to university. To cushion the immediate hardship of the affected families, he donated the sum of Five Hundred Thousand Naira each to the survivors, One Million Naira each to the families of the deceased, and 600 bags of 50kg rice to be shared among the affected families. Histor...

~~ Hauwee Saeed  The number of women vying for political positions in Nigeria is too low compared to the 2023 General Elections. This is a worrying development for our democracy. Why are women going down in numbers to contest elections, rather than just being followers or being used by men to win elections? Today, women are the biggest mobilizers during campaigns. They are everywhere at rallies and on election day. Yet, when it comes to being on the ballot, their numbers are dropping. We must ask the hard questions. Why are women retreating? It is due to high cost of politics, lack of party support, intimidation, and most importantly, lack of unity among women themselves. Even when we have a good example in Niger State, where all 25 Local Governments now have female Vice-Chairmen through the deliberate political strategy of Farmer Governor Umaru Bago, other states are not emulating it. Other states need to encourage and support women in politics. Also, our women need to wake up and...