Heart to Heart with Hajara – Series 4: “My Partner Doesn’t Listen to Me.” But Have You Really Talked to Each Other Openly and Honestly?
Heart to Heart with Hajara – Series 4: “My Partner Doesn’t Listen to Me.” But Have You Really Talked to Each Other Openly and Honestly? One thing I hear quite often in counselling is: “My husband doesn't listen to me.” “He does not even care about me.” “He does not protect me from his family.” “He cheats…” And from men, I hear: “My wife doesn't understand me.” “She is troublesome.” “Stubborn.” “No empathy.” “Disrespectful…” Ba ta jin magana. (in Hausa) Wun de tosaya. (in Nupe) You see, women complain. Men complain too. Sometimes, both people are actually unhappy, but each person is so focused on how badly the other person is treating them that neither stops to ask, “What are we both doing wrong?” Most times, both parties believe they are right and blame the other without reflecting on themselves. From what I have seen as a counsellor, sometimes the problem is not that there is no love. The problem is that both people are speaking, but neither is really listening. A wife can say...