Exclusive Interview with Hajara Thani Mustapha: Founder of Deep Healing Counselling Providing Support from the Comfort of Your Home

Hajara Thani Mustapha is the founder of Deep Healing Counselling, (IIdeephealingcounselling.org), an online platform that provides professional, empathetic, non-judgmental, and confidential services to individuals who need support from the comfort of their homes. Her organization also offers physical sessions in Abuja.

She hails from Niger State and holds an M.Tech from FUT Minna, Niger State. She has a professional certification in counseling from the Bradford Center for Counseling, UK. Additionally, she is a certified Life Coach, Relationship Coach, and a passionate mental health advocate. She also works as a women’s personal coach. She is married with four children.

TMG> Can you tell us about your experience and background as a counsellor and marriage coach?

Hajara》》Due to the ongoing marital challenges that people often face, we established the Intentional Marriage Academy. Our academy focuses on preparing young couples for marriage through group pre-marital coaching and also offers group coaching programs to help revive struggling marriages. Our ultimate goal is to decrease the high divorce rates and assist couples in building healthier, more fulfilling relationships. From pre-marital preparation to achieving a "happily ever after," we provide guidance every step of the way.

Throughout my career, I have worked with couples navigating marital issues, as well as individuals healing from heartbreaks and toxic relationships. I have also supported many people in overcoming personal and relationship challenges. My passion lies in helping individuals find clarity and closure in difficult situations, offering unwavering support during tough times. I am truly dedicated to accompanying them on their journey towards healing and growth.

TMG> What motivated you to pursue a career in counselling and coaching marriages?

Hajara》》 I have always felt a deep passion for assisting individuals in navigating emotional challenges. I have personally experienced difficult times, and the stories I have witnessed and heard, particularly those of women, have inspired me to elevate this passion by obtaining certification. Witnessing individuals make errors and, in attempting to correct them, often make even more mistakes is distressing. I cannot bear to see people enduring suffering, confusion, and feeling trapped, not knowing which direction to turn.

One narrative that struck a chord with me is that of my aunt. A kind-hearted individual, her life was profoundly altered by marriage. Following a traumatic divorce, she transformed into a mere shadow of her former self, grappling with depression ever since. The experience shattered her spirit and left scars from which she is still on the road to recovery. Her story, in conjunction with numerous other tales of both men and women enduring silent suffering, has fueled my determination to embark on this journey.

TMG> What techniques or approaches do you typically use in your counselling sessions with couples?

Hajara》》 When working with couples, I frequently utilize the Solution-Focused Counseling approach. This collaborative and goal-oriented technique assists clients in recognizing and utilizing their strengths to accomplish desired results and enhance their overall well-being.

Additionally, I integrate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) on occasion to tackle negative thought patterns and behaviors that may be contributing to their distress. This method enables clients to reframe unproductive thoughts, cope with challenging emotions, and cultivate healthier coping strategies.

TMG> How do you approach conflict resolution and communication issues in relationships?

Hajara》》 Conflict often arises from misunderstandings in communication. Couples may believe that simply talking is enough, but true communication involves more than just words. I focus on improving communication in relationships, helping couples express themselves in a way that resonates with their partners and fosters engagement.

This requires using the right language, tone, and timing, as well as learning to consider each other's perspectives. I stress the importance of unity in marriage, not in sharing the same thoughts but in working together.

Furthermore, I instruct on conflict resolution methods such as taking breaks, managing emotions through emotional intelligence, and utilizing relaxation techniques. By incorporating these strategies into their daily lives, couples can effectively handle disagreements and cultivate stronger, more fulfilling bonds.

TMG> What is your opinion on the importance of self-care and personal growth in a successful marriage?

Hajara》》 Self-care and personal development are crucial because you cannot fully contribute to your marriage if you are neglecting yourself. Marriage is an important aspect of your life, but it should not encompass all of it. By focusing on self-care and striving for personal growth, you can present the best version of yourself to your partner and enhance your relationship.

TMG> How do you tailor your counselling sessions to meet the individual needs and goals of each couple?

Hajara》》 Prior to beginning our sessions, I make sure to grasp the reasons for their visit and their desired outcomes. By tailoring our sessions to target their individual worries and objectives, I can effectively track their advancement and evaluate whether their goals have been fulfilled.

TMG> Can you share a success story from your work with couples that highlights the effectiveness of your coaching methods?

Hajara》》 Numerous couples who seek guidance from me depart feeling satisfied and equipped with fresh clarity. I have guided couples in viewing challenges from alternative viewpoints, resulting in improved comprehension and collaboration.

Even in situations where only one partner is present, such as when the wife attends alone, I assist in fostering clarity and guiding them toward well-informed choices. My objective is to guarantee that no one exits my sessions without experiencing a positive transformation.

TMG> How do you establish trust and rapport with clients who may be initially hesitant to seek counselling or coaching?

Hajara》》 I approach each session with empathy and professionalism. I educate clients on the advantages of counseling, highlighting its confidential and non-judgmental environment. Some individuals may be hesitant due to concerns about being judged or a lack of awareness regarding the transformative potential of counseling. Upon experiencing counseling, many recognize it as a secure space for healing and personal growth.

TMG> What ongoing support do you provide to couples after the initial counselling sessions are completed?

Hajara》》 The amount of support provided varies based on the chosen package. Some concerns may necessitate continued individual counseling, group coaching, or participation in workshops. Clients can also join our online community of supportive individuals for ongoing assistance.

Even after reaching their goals, clients are welcome to reach out as needed. Counseling is a dynamic journey, and I am here to offer further guidance whenever necessary.

TMG> How do you stay current with advancements in therapy and counselling techniques to better serve your clients?

Hajara》》 I am dedicated to continuous learning. I frequently enroll in short courses and earn certifications to stay current and offer top-notch services to my clients.

TMG> How do you handle couples who may have conflicting beliefs or values that are causing strain in their relationship?

Hajara》》 I establish a neutral environment where both partners are valued and respected. My method involves assisting them in recognizing core values and mutual objectives. By collaborating to harmonize their differences with the overarching vision for their marriage, they can discover practical resolutions without facing criticism. I am there to lead them towards compromises that enhance their relationship.

TMG> What advice would you give to couples who are considering counselling or coaching but are unsure if it’s the right step for them?

Hajara》》I will simply tell them to stop hesitating and give it a go. It is an investment in their mental health. It’s like self-care. It’s like having your own personal torch to navigate the ups and downs of life.

In my experience, many people where I come from don't understand the benefits of counselling. Some are hesitant and unsure if they really need it. I have seen individuals suffering in silence, feeling lost and confused. A few have even shared with me that they sought help at a hospital and were prescribed antidepressants.

The truth is that emotional stress is a serious issue that should not be ignored. Many people underestimate the power of counselling and struggle to open up to someone they don't know. I hope that over time, more individuals, especially men, will be willing to seek help instead of silently enduring their struggles.

For anyone out there questioning whether they should try counselling, my answer is YES—you should. Prioritize your mental health and take the first step today.

Thank You TMG Group